EmptyI can't explainwhy I feelthe way I doEverything's coming downrushing downfaster and fasterI feel trappedThere is no escapeit's just getting worseI want to break freeI want so muchjust to be happy againbut right nowthere's just nothingempty despaira blank spacea white sheet of papernothing to fill itYou're too farand my enemy too nearI don't think I can copeIt's just too muchthis numbing painIt's not my choiceit's justthe waythings are.I guess.
Dear Diary _5_Dear Diary,I can't begin to explain what happened last night. Sammie came over for a while and we made up, she still wants to pretend to the other girls that she's like them so she wont be lonely at school, but she wants to be her normal self with me, so I said it was fine, so long as she didn't try to backstab me or anything. She left before dinner though.Rosa arrived just in time for dinner, wearing this beautiful tutu-style red and black skirt, and a black bodice, with her big chunky boots. My parents barely said a word throughout dinner but we talked about school and how lame it was.But after that is when things got a bit weird I guess. We went up to my room to listen to some music and bitch about all the popular people we hate, and how we would make the world better if we were in power, which included shipping our siblings off to Cambodia in a big crate.Rosa told me she has a crush on me.I just... I didn't know how to deal with it, I mean, I've avoided thinking about things l
Dear Diary _4_Dear Diary,It's been two weeks again. I wish I wasn't so sporadic. Things haven't improved at home, but they haven't gotten any worse. Mom relented and took all the clothes back that she got me, and gave me the money instead, which was nice. i got some more clothes with it, but ones that I liked. And some new boots, knee-high chunky ones. I adore them.I managed to get a hold of Rosa and we're friends now. She's exactly like me, we get on really well. I've been to her house a few times and she's been over here a few, my parents don't like her, but it's like i say to them, at least me and Rosa don't smoke or drink anything, unlike other people our age. We just dress differently and listen to different music. And we're not brainwashed by mainstream ideals such as fashion.Sammie sent me a text yesterday, asking how I was. I told her how she'd made me feel with what she'd done, and she's coming over soon to talk. I think she misses me, she would be the outcast in her school if she was st